Googling "One Stop Short of Barking" today, I discovered a very nice little piece in e-motionmagazine.co.uk which is the customer magazine for South West Trains, which hopefully means it will be in the print magazine too.
"a dedication to the foibles of the Tube, a potted history and a guide to surviving even the toughest travelling conditions without breaking a sweat. It will teach you to recognise ™pre-departure shuffling" in fellow passengers in order to claim the next available seat, and discover how to achieve ™maxium door alignment" so that you can board the train swiftly and stylishly. A warts-and-all guide, it will also bring smiles to the faces of those so often stuck behind someone who won't move down the carriage, can't find their ticket at the barrier or who jams their rucksack in the doors just as they're closing".
Loving the way they have put trade mark signs on "Pre Departure Shuffling" and "Maximum Door Alignment".